Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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