I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
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At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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