i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize