I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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