I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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