He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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