I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
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you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
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my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The ass gains better be worth it
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