just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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