I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
