I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
