you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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