Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize