dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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