That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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