people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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