I'm lost and stupid without you.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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