I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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