i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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