i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
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He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
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You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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