so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
