i permit you to call me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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