We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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