You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
