Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
