Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
