You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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