i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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