oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
