Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
