His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She's the barista slut.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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