It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize