I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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