i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
