This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
