Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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