we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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