OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
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Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
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He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party