i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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