Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
