I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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