I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Randomize
