I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
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At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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