That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
