Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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