This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
