quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
