Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
