would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
