I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
