All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
