Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
