she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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