i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
