A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
