Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
