Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
