wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize