Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
one might say we're banned from that church
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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