I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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