Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
