Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize