What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My feet surprised me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize