Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
