i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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