How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize