No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
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When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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