I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm passing your future prison.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
