I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
