If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
